Blinded..

I must admit, I was blinded by you. It’s like I felt invisible for a very long time, and there you were, noticing me, making me feel as if I’m the prettiest girl alive. You represented the feeling of me being lucky for you to have chosen me. Honestly, I was swept away by the sweet words coming out of your mouth. You were giving me the things I wished I had with my previous partner, and you literally turned my world upside down. We had what I call a whirlwind romance. I don’t even know if you really meant the things you said to me before we became a couple. I confess, I was hesitant at first, but eventually, I began sinking, to the feeling of grandeur, and of being “in love”. I tried to change myself according to your standards, all the while thinking that if you liked me for what I am before, why should I have to change myself now. But silly me, I just ignored the facts, which was continuously staring me in the face. Like the fact that you seem to be ok being friendly with girls, but I cannot be so much as close to guys. Or the fact that we have different lifestyles, and that you represent the guy that I was so adamant on not liking before. All because I was already hooked, and I felt that time is running out on me. I failed to see you for who you are, and instead tried to make you into someone I would like you to be. For that I must be dreaming, because nobody can change you, I can only influence you, but in our case it was the other way around. I know you won’t be able to read this, and I know someone is probably raising her eyebrows while reading this now, but I felt the desire to write this, not to put false hopes on myself but to remind me of who I really am. My temporary blindness has led me to accept the things that I have no control of and also to appreciate myself for who I am. So maybe I would like to thank you. I wanna stop being bitter already. Someday, when we see each other again, I hope we can smile at each other.

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